STEPPING INTO LIFE

SEASON OF CHANGE

Recently I passed a milestone..... 500 days with home being wherever my feet were that day. It has been that long since I sold my condo and life served up a great adventure. Amelia Earhart, explorer extraordinaire, once said "When life offers a great adventure, you don't refuse it." So when life presented an opportunity, I decided instead of doing the safe thing, to embrace the situation and see what might unfold. So far, my feet have been in the Adirondacks and Finger Lakes regions of New York, a monastery in Pennsylvania, the Massachusetts coast, various points in Maine, New Brunswick Canada, Nova Scotia Canada and back to Ohio. Parts of myself have been left scattered along the way, and I've taken and kept little bits of all those places and people with me. I've kept the journey and the growth and changes that have happened pretty close to my heart. But I feel it's now time to begin sharing the writings and voice journals I've been making during this time of journey. I'm not sure where to begin with them all, so I'll just begin with my thoughts at the beginning of this year and go from there.

I walked out of 2017 giving thanks for such a beautiful year so well lived. My heart was brimming and overflowing with happiness, gratitude, and love. All the people & moments from this past year are wonderfully stitched into my heart and soul. I’m bringing that tapestry into 2018 with a hopeful spirit. I won’t have a word of the year which I will have forgotten six months later, or resolutions that really don’t matter. Instead, I’ll do more of what worked and improve upon that… Yoga every morning, meditation every day, keeping kindness in my heart, living simply but richly, living fully in each wild wonderful riotously beautiful moment, loving deeply and nurturing friendships. My mind will stay open to possibilities and I’ll continue to say yes to life. When I’m in new uncharted territory or fearful or uncertain about the situation, instead of running away I’ll turn and take a step toward it to see what might happen.  I’ll create every day and seek inspiration everywhere. Each morning I will greet the day with a thankful heart for this gift and adventure that if life.

NO APOLOGIES

I don't know about you, but I seem to find myself apologizing for emotions or tears. Lately, I've been apologizing when I shed tears of grief that my Maggie May is gone. It's been a year after all. Why am I still crying and why does my heart still break? But, she was my 1 in a million (I think dog owners always have that extra special one) .... my travel buddy and hiking buddy and confidant and copilot in life - she was my angel with fur... and my model/muse. It is hard having this road adventure without her - my best fur friend. It was such a blessing to be able to open my heart & life up so grandly and largely to this furry soul. To be able to love so deeply is a gift and a blessing. The downside is that the heart break is also so deep.

Somehow I thought one day the missing her would ease, or the tears would stop and the apologies would come when this wasn't the case. What I now realize is that I won't ever stop missing her. And that is OK. When we lose someone (or a furry someone) it's okay to keep missing them, and to keep feeling that empty spot and to be authentic about it all. And it's okay to let someone else in (or another pet) and a new space will be filled, but that other empty spot will always be there. And just letting myself know I will always miss her and will probably always shed tears of joy but also sadness that she is gone, somehow makes me feel better. And I'm going to stop apologizing for all that. And that feels very good, too.