THE AMERICAN DREAM

Part of my daily ritual includes beginning the day with sunrise and ending the day with sunset whenever possible. It's a meditation of sorts, and a way to be present in the day and fill my mind and heart with thankfulness.

Last evening I went to Fort Pulaski just off Tybee Island, Georgia to watch the sunset from the bridge. It's always a nice change of pace from the beach. There were several fishermen on the bridge as I walked back across. Meeting people and hearing their stories has become a favorite part of my 2 year travel adventure. Chance meetings? I think not... they are all like gifts from the universe. I always get "feelings" that I should talk to certain individuals. Amazing and wonderful things manifest in life if you give out what you seek, keep an open heart and mind and greet life with curiosity.

Last evening a really lovely conversation manifested that lasted an hour and a half. It was like one of those evenings that  I would have had in my twenties.... an authentic honest conversation with a total stranger where you could talk about life and dreams and laugh. A real connection. As we get older we sometimes put walls up and maybe are not as open and those random connections with strangers don't happen as much. 

As I was passing "A" I felt compelled to talk with him and said, "Hey whatcha catching in here?". He said he wasn't really fishing for anything, he just came there to relax and have quiet and be in nature. And we began a conversation that was a little small talk and some heartfelt interesting thoughts. He was in his 40s and had traveled quite a bit. His wandering took him to Germany and Switzerland, across Europe and many places in the US. I was curious how he could travel so much since he wasn't retirement age. He replied that he worked at a job long hours, saved up money then would quit and travel for a while! He was planning his next trip to Scotland.

We began talking about life in America and the American dream and how it is all changing for younger people today. He didn't believe owning a home was necessarily the American dream anymore, although he said it was a good way to bring in extra money by renting. But he felt it wasn't worth the expense to keep a place up. He saw many people going to campers and RVs as a new wave of "home ownership" and an increasingly mobile society. We covered education and the importance, or lack of importance, in today's world as things change so quickly. He felt that the American dream didn't apply to everyone and that the opportunities weren't the same for or accessible for all Americans. He also felt that each individual should define his or her own dream that spoke to their heart and pursue that... even if it wasn't the same as that held by the general public. Those were the lessons and advice he wanted to instill in his son. We talked about health care and his view that the system is collapsing in on itself. It was a very intriguing thought provoking conversation... the kind of conversation I would have had late one summer night in college. It was such an energizing yet relaxing exchange. In the distance a beautiful fireworks display began at Hunter Air Force Base and we watched and enjoyed the moment. It was a magical wonderful evening. And with his talk of travel, "A" gave me food for thought.  I'm wondering if my current travel journey should take a jump overseas to Germany or Scotland! So I guess in a way there was some manifesting going on!

RUN WILD

 MAGGIE AND HER KOI

Voice journal from  July 10, 2016
5:44 PM

When Maggie May got older people would look at her and say oh she's so slow and hobbling. It's so sad she can't run anymore (yes, people actually said this). As I'm walking through the woods right now I'm thinking I'm glad I gave her the chance to run wild and free and crazy off leash and through the woods with wild abandon even if possibly it did aggravate her hips or make some things worse in old age... because it was what she was born to do... it was what she was. I don't think she was sad she couldn't run anymore. I think when she stood & looked across the golf course or at the woods, she was remembering all those incredible times that she flew through the woods and swam for hours. And I like to think she felt it was better to have done that and have those incredible memories embedded into her being than having just lived a safe half life. I hope the memories were good enough. And I hope that when I am 90, and maybe can't be on trails anymore, that the thoughts and memories I have of my hikes and adventures and saying yes to life will bring a smile to my face and be enough... and that I'll be happy with the memories and know I lived a full and not half life.

MAGGIE IN HER LAST YEAR

ALTERNATE ROUTES

ON THE WING

Voice journal recording July 10, 2016
11:37 AM

I've always taken the road less traveled... I've always searched for alternate routes on foot and in thought and in  life. When I was little I was intrigued by Amelia Earhart and her brave explorer spirit, and not so interested in Barbie who frankly scared the heck out of me with her unrealistic waist combined with Dolly Parton tatas. I've learned to embrace being an adventurer and wanderer at heart. And I can settle for a little bit but then my restless spirit pushes me to journey and explore again.

Everyone has oceans to fly, if they have the heart to do it. Is it reckless? Maybe. But what do dreams know of boundaries? -Amelia Earhart

There is more to life than being a passenger. - Amelia Earhart

You can find this fine art photography print ON THE WING in my ETSY SHOP.

THE NEXT AMAZING CHAPTER

Maggie May at our favorite Michigan cottage - Spring 2015

***** From my voice journal July 8, 2016
8:07 AM
*****

I'm in the process of listing my place and moving, and I've been going back and forth between doing it and not doing it. And I realize it's more a struggle of staying in a comfort zone, that has been quite wonderful actually for the past 10 years, or seeing new horizons.  But I'm in the city and it's not where I've ever really felt I belonged. And life is short. So I'm thinking it's not so much about staying in my home and moving, but about comfort zones and fear and living in possibility. I'm realizing that is much of the struggle in life... is it so bad to really stay in my comfort zone? I'm mean it's good and amazing and maybe that's what life is calling me to do... stay in the comfort zone. But in moments of quiet... at my core, in my heart, in my gut and in my intuition, I really feel that my chapter here is finishing and I'm being called to see what might be around the next turn and to just take the chance. Life has been so good so far and I really believe there will be more good and amazing things to come. So that's kind of where I'm working myself to - to just taking that leap and seeing what the next amazing thing and chapter will be. And it's a bit bittersweet because my sweet Maggie May - my little fur child and kindred spirit and hiking buddy who passed away 6 months ago - was always supposed to be in this chapter with me. I thought I would do this move much sooner, but as she got older and had issues, I realized it wouldn't be fair to her to have her moving to a new environment and that she deserved her comfort zone in her older years. So I stayed put for her. And I'm glad I did. I'm glad she got to stay in the place she knew her whole life. That in her last years, she got to enjoy the place she loved so much... and I enjoyed it with her. So, I'm getting to the point of  appreciating those lovely blessings. I'm so thankful for the gift of  her, and I'm wrapping her sweet adventurous happy spirit and soul up into mine and taking her with me in my heart on this next chapter.


*** Looking back on this voice journal today May 16, 2018 I could never have foreseen, or even imagined in my wildest dreams, the absolutely unbelievable adventure that was about to take place..... and the way my life - and myself as a person - were about to dramatically change forever.  That's just it.... we never know what is waiting... unless we take that first step and look and see.

Maggie running her favorite Michigan beach - Empire, Michigan

GETTING KNOWN

PINK PEONY

People often ask me how I got to where I am.... wherever that is... where people perceive me to be and how my art has ended up the venues it has. Really what I think people want to know is a step by step cut in stone type of method or guide. I could jot down a list of companies to contact and say you've got to work hard, but it is more than that... It goes to relevancy in today's art market and world. And relevancy changes so quickly. It is a fine balance of being current, relevant and also uniquely individual in a work of copycat and same old same old. Granted there is only so much uniqueness in the art world... but you can always put your own spin on a concept or idea to make it your own - a different color scheme or a different perspective, etc.

But it goes beyond that to tenacity and resilience and continuing on when you think you can't because your energy or inspiration is gone. And then, even beyond that... it is having faith and believing in yourself and your art and then keeping that faith to get you through discouragement. It is the perspective that with each declined submission comes the opportunity to rework art or to try to find a new audience. It is about never giving up. It is living with a mindset of curiosity rather than focusing on fear or failure. That mindset of curiosity should extend beyond creating, and become a way of living. Embracing curiosity is even more tantamount than the idea of following your bliss. Really, it is following your curiosity and living in possibility. It is letting go of the focus on success or achievement and living quite simply in a place of what could happen or what is next. And I think that is how you arrive at success and at happiness.

Voice journal from July 8, 2016
Columbus, Ohio

***** I'm beginning a mentoring service for creatives to navigate the business side of their art and also provice direction and coaching in art. If you would like more information while my blog is undergoing revisions to accommodate this new service, shoot me an email or give me a call. I'd love to hear from you! Workshops will also be in the works later this year!

SUMMER FLOWERS

These still life floral art prints are available in my Etsy shop.

MOM, MOTHER, MAMA, MERE, MATKA, MADRE, MUTER, MUM, OKAASAN

 MOM IN COLLEGE

There are so many different words and spellings for the incredible women who gave us life. Today is Mother's Day - a day to honor the amazing women in  our lives. A day celebrating the women who birthed us from their bodies, but also those who gave us & our dreams life in their hearts through adoption or mentoring or friendship or love. While I hope we shower love upon and celebrate these women every day, it’s nice to have a day to shout their praises loudly and openly.

It’s a difficult day though for women who have lost their mothers or their daughters or their children before birth or for those who could not have children and become mothers. I always considered myself a mother without a child. I lost my baby girl, Eva Grace, through miscarriage at 5 1/2 months. The only times I was able to hold her, was when I held my hands over my belly bump above her. I can almost still feel that. She would be a woman now and I always wonder what & who she would have become… My mom has been gone 23 years... and I also wonder what living and growth she would have seen.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the women who nurture, who lift us, who support us and our dreams, who grieve with us and celebrate with us, who sit with and give time to us, those who fan our flames to be the best best we can be, to the encouragers, to those who wrap their arms around us and infuse us with strength, to those who adopt and stepmother, to those who are childless but give their love and nurturing to all around them, to the dog moms and cat moms and stewards of Mother earth… And to all of the amazing women that we do these things for, thank you - you are appreciated and loved.

 MOM IN FLORIDA

 DAD, MOM AND MY SURROGATE MOM BERNIE (WITH COFFEE CUP)

MOM AND DAD

WATERING THE SAME LAWN

APPLE ORCHARD IN SPRING

We are singular and we are everyone.

We are ourselves alone and we are each other.

We think the grass is always greener elsewhere, but we are all walking on

and watering the same lawn...

Water your lawn well...

then take off your shoes and run with wild abandon.....

Olivia StClaire

This original fine art photography print of an organic Michigan apple orchard in Spring can be purchased HERE in my Etsy shop.

STORIES

Artist retreat - Maine

All of these lines across my face

Tell you the story of who I am

So many stories of where I’ve been

And how I got to where I am

But these stories don’t mean anything

When you’ve got no one to tell them to…

~ Brandi Carlile 

Today, on my birthday, I crossed the threshold… I have now lived longer than my mom. She was always my point of reference… My guide in life and living, my go to for questions or understanding, my lesson teacher. So, my mother point of reference is officially gone and I’ll now be blazing the ultimate trail and journey without her. On my birthday, while driving through Florida back to Tybee Island, Georgia after visiting a friend, I listened to Brandi Carlile’s song The Story. It’s always been a favorite but this time the lyrics struck a different chord. 

We are all woven of the many stories of our lives... and most people don’t know the stories that often lie quietly within us. These stories, when told and shared, take on a richer deeper meaning for the teller and the receiver. I found myself wondering about my mother’s untold stories. She was very private and kept most of them close to her heart. And I now wish that I knew more of them.

Sunrise... in Maine.

At the beginning of my artist retreat in Maine this past November, I begin living and creating what would become one of my life stories. While traveling, I’ve been meditating for over a year and using an online program / app to track my daily progress. This past November I began to communicate with “B” from Florida, who also used the app. B was a fellow photographer. We immediately began daily communication off the site. We started the day with each other by sending photos of our sunrises and would also send the sunsets in our very different worlds. I found myself looking forward to these photographs, voice messages and written messages sprinkled throughout each day that became bright spots in the short days & long dark nights of Maine winter. One day at the beginning of December, I asked him to tell me a story… Anything he felt like telling me about himself or his life. That simple request became a wonderful sharing of written stories of who we are and how we got to be where we are… These were stories he and I had not shared with many or any people before. They were part of the fabric and history that was each of us. They were the kind of things that you don’t normally tell people because they are often so every day and ordinary.. but they reflect so much of who we are. They are the memories and feelings and emotions that speak so loudly about who we are more than if we would try to tell someone who we are. There was something special and magical in the actual sharing of these private pieces of ourselves, and it became a discovery of each other and a sort of self discovery as well. We would randomly ask each other for a story. It was wonderful to reflect on bits of my life and what to share, when asked. And it was equally special to read what story he shared. It was safe intimacy from afar... like sharing with someone sitting next to you on a plane or in a coffee house. It was simple and flirtatious and uncomplicated and beautiful.

 Morning walk to the sea at the Maine art retreat.

We would write messages in the sand and send them to each other.

Recently, communication just began to fade away and then stopped between us. Maybe the interaction had served its purpose and had its time. All I know is it was wonderful & I enjoyed it immensely! I’m so very thankful for him and for the adventure of our story telling. I think we both learned how to communicate this past winter... both in stories and personally. I learned how to open my heart and my world and to stay present to something instead of running or walking away from it. Vulnerability can be scary, but it is also so full of riches and the best way to live. Because of this experience with B, it caused me to grow and to reflect on so much in life and to learn to communicate better than I did before... And to accept someone just as they are and to be thankful for them. I’m pretty sure I won’t think of Maine without thinking of him.

The funny thing is, I recently began communicating with someone else through a meditation program / app. He is ironically also from Florida and he wanted us to meet in person to tell each other our stories... I love the synchronicity and beauty of that. And once again I said yes to life and what it offered.

So this week, he and I ended up meeting in Savannah, Georgia for coffee and we laughed and talked and rode bikes and walked in nature at Skidaway Island State Park and the activities flowed from one thing to another into the afternoon to evening to nightfall and we told each other our stories for almost 11 hours! Amazing things happen when we get out of our comfort zones, away from expectations and out of our own way and let life just happen and evolve into a new story.

Skidaway Island State Park - Georgia

To purchase fine art photography prints from my travel adventures stop by my Society6 shop or Etsy Shop. For home Decor and furniture pieces stop by my Deny Designs shop!

CREATING LIGHT WITHIN MYSELF

ADVENTURE ALONG THE SEA

When living so firmly and presently in each moment, growth and changes aren’t always noticeable or immediately felt. But as I leave each place that has been home for days or months, and stand in the doorway and look back remembering myself when I entered that space, the growth and changes become boldly apparent. 

The past winter spent in Maine at the artist retreat was quite solitary. The days are so short and the darkness stretched for what seemed like forever. Like the trees gathered outside my windows, my roots stretched downward and inward to find sustenance deep within myself. Winter is a quiet season, but incredible life & change happen below the surface & in the stillness. We all need to learn to quiet ourselves and allow for the growth and rebirth waiting to come, if we have faith and hope. I joined the Y in order to have contact with others and move my body when the snow, and especially ice, made it difficult to hike or snow shoe. I began crafting rituals to ground myself and to create light within… Music was always playing. Each morning I greeted the day with a Morning Ritual Meditation on Insight Timer and then a yoga session. Each evening after returning from my daily hikes down to the sea, at Camden Hills State Park or Birch Point in Owl's Head, I would take long leisurely bubble baths by candle light. Candles were everywhere, and I lit them all every evening creating a magical ambiance you can only enjoy in the darkness. Each clear night I would go out into the endless dark space that surrounded me, and gaze up at the the millions of stars above that I could never see in the city lights. It was breathtaking, and magical and I felt connected to something so much larger than myself and this world. There are riches to be found in stillness & solitude... if we dig deep. This ended up being a very spiritual and profound winter… on my final morning, I awoke to discover sea fog had shrouded the landscape. I walked down to the ocean and did my meditation by the foggy sea. When I returned to my artist retreat apartment, I went into each room and gave heartfelt thanks for my time spent there. As I stood in the doorway, I placed my hand on the wall and left my good thoughts, creative energy & intentions for the next person who would call the space home. The final time I cross the threshold, I place my hand on the door frame and remember all the happiness, creativity  and changes that happened within the walls and give my heartfelt and profound thanks and gratitude for the place, the people, the possibilities and opportunities. This is my leaving ritual...

From Maine, I drove to Erie Pennsylvania to spend Easter at the Benedictine Sisters of Erie (Mount Saint Benedict Monastery). Hospitality, meeting each guest with a prayer, a greeting of peace and a good meal is a Benedictine rule. This monastery has a guest wing with simple rooms to welcome travelers and those on retreat. While here at the monastery, I immerse myself in the routine and spirit of this place beginning with the bells ringing at 6:25 in the morning calling the sisters to morning praise. My heart feels grounded and wiser after being on retreat here...

From there I stopped in my hometown of Westerville, Ohio for quick visits with friends before heading south to Tybee Island, Georgia outside Savannah. I’ve been in the tropical setting 3 days & memories of winter are quickly fading!

 SUMMER OF LOVE AT THE BEACH

MOUNTAIN SUNSET ABSTRACT

MOUNTAINS AND SEA

Find these (and more) long exposure fine art photography prints HERE IN MY SHOP.

BLAZING TRAILS

COASTAL LANDSCAPE ABSTRACT

Soon I will be moving again. There isn’t much to move, just what fits in my car. But it’s become a process where I lay down my roots deeply,  then sever them and move on. Wherever I land, I immerse myself there completely, knowing my time is limited. It is a rich and authentic way of being. I'm so very thankful for the incredible friends I've made along the way and beautiful places I've explored and hiked. Parts of me are always left behind... like a trail of breadcrumbs or trail blazes through a wilderness showing where I’ve been and the way back should I want to return.  You get to know where all the gas stations and overnight stops are along the interstates. I try not to look back, keeping my eyes and focus forward… I take everything I need with me in my car, and tucked away in my heart and my memories. For a year and a half, home has been wherever my feet are... which lends itself to a very present and mindful way of living. It is simplicity and minimalism at its best. Much of my year plus gypsy life has been spent along the sea, and the sound of waves and water have become as familiar as my own breath. And as necessary...  A friend joked with me that I'm creating millions of new neural pathways in my brain with my everchanging new surroundings and routines I must learn. That thought makes me smile! With all the constant changes and new landscapes, I began meditating to ground myself. It has become a life changing daily habit and way of life. Often, I'm asked if I get tired of wandering and living like this. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I desperately miss my garden, and the wonderful ordinary sameness of each day and a routine so deep it becomes a rut. But those moments are fleeting and they pass. And I realize the highway has become a well known friend. I know I will settle down and nest again… But there will always be a wanderer within waiting to see what’s around the next turn.

SEA SPRITES

SUNSET ABSTRACT

ADVENTURES ALONG THE COAST

If you would like to see more of my long exposure photography created during my time exploring coastal Maine, stop by HERE.

BEYOND OUR HORIZON

BEACH MEDITATION

My life is drastically different than I had planned, and that is a very good amazing thing. Because I could never have planned let alone imagined the life I’m living now. We keep ourselves safe, walking through our rutted known path. Living vicariously through others instead of truly living our life and stepping out of our comfort zone. .. never stepping to the edge of our borders and glimpsing what might live beyond. There are amazing incredible things just beyond our horizon. This morning I was wondering what keeps people on their mundane path. People have often remarked how brave I am to do what I’m doing now and live how I am living. But I don’t feel brave. I feel fearless. I began thinking about that ... being fearful or full of fear versus fearless and having less fear. Instead of running away or staying where we are perhaps take one step toward what you are fearful of. And then tomorrow take another step. And the next day another. And you’ll be closer to seeing what lies beyond that horizon and being fearless.

STEPPING INTO LIFE

SEASON OF CHANGE

Recently I passed a milestone..... 500 days with home being wherever my feet were that day. It has been that long since I sold my condo and life served up a great adventure. Amelia Earhart, explorer extraordinaire, once said "When life offers a great adventure, you don't refuse it." So when life presented an opportunity, I decided instead of doing the safe thing, to embrace the situation and see what might unfold. So far, my feet have been in the Adirondacks and Finger Lakes regions of New York, a monastery in Pennsylvania, the Massachusetts coast, various points in Maine, New Brunswick Canada, Nova Scotia Canada and back to Ohio. Parts of myself have been left scattered along the way, and I've taken and kept little bits of all those places and people with me. I've kept the journey and the growth and changes that have happened pretty close to my heart. But I feel it's now time to begin sharing the writings and voice journals I've been making during this time of journey. I'm not sure where to begin with them all, so I'll just begin with my thoughts at the beginning of this year and go from there.

I walked out of 2017 giving thanks for such a beautiful year so well lived. My heart was brimming and overflowing with happiness, gratitude, and love. All the people & moments from this past year are wonderfully stitched into my heart and soul. I’m bringing that tapestry into 2018 with a hopeful spirit. I won’t have a word of the year which I will have forgotten six months later, or resolutions that really don’t matter. Instead, I’ll do more of what worked and improve upon that… Yoga every morning, meditation every day, keeping kindness in my heart, living simply but richly, living fully in each wild wonderful riotously beautiful moment, loving deeply and nurturing friendships. My mind will stay open to possibilities and I’ll continue to say yes to life. When I’m in new uncharted territory or fearful or uncertain about the situation, instead of running away I’ll turn and take a step toward it to see what might happen.  I’ll create every day and seek inspiration everywhere. Each morning I will greet the day with a thankful heart for this gift and adventure that if life.

COMFORT ZONES AND LEAPS OF FAITH

A year ago today, I left my fairly predictable life behind when I sat across the table from the people who bought my home. The plan was to have a "safe" adventure, and after spending 2 days at a monastery, go to a furnished rental in Michigan for the winter and then look for a place to rent or buy. For almost a year I struggled with the decision to sell my place, where I had been  for 10 years. I loved my space and setting, and could have been quite comfortable and happy there for another 10 or more years.  I would have been content, but I would have been doing the "safe" thing, the predictable thing and stayed firmly ensconced in my comfort zone. When I listened to my gut, I knew that while I could be perfectly content there, it was time for me to move on to something new... to a new chapter and new place, as scary as that was. So I sold my place to a couple who I knew would love it as much as I had loved it.

When I was at the monastery, my plans fell apart but they also fell together into what ended up being a 1 year journey and adventure that I could never have dreamed of, let alone planned! I'm thankful I said yes to life. I have learned about faith and trust, letting go of control, letting go of expectations, going with the flow, self reliance and resilience. And in the process I met the most amazing people, forged some special friendships and make incredible memories for a lifetime. I've been inspired by incredibly beautiful areas I had never been to. I feel so very blessed and thankful that things didn't work out as I had planned. I'm looking forward to the next year while I continue to travel and wander.

ENCOURAGING DREAMS

Knowing that someone believes in you is one of the most wonderful gifts to receive, and one of the most loving gifts to be able to give. In a world full of naysayers and those who discourage, that person who believes in you is like a light shining bright and true. A person who believes in you, who instills confidence and courage and says yes, it can be done... someone who fans the flames of your dreams,  and lights a match to give your dreams light and life, is a rare gift and wonderful mentor. That gift and mentor was my cousin Jack, my Mom's favorite cousin. This morning I learned he had passed away. I was going to do a blog post about my visit to the Annapolis Royal Historic Gardens and their amazing rose garden, but it seems more appropriate to use these photos and talk about Jack, who loved gardens and gardening and roses and being outdoors. He loved working among beautiful things whether they were people or plants. He was one of those rare people in life that your noticed because of his quiet presence that was compelling. He loved life, he loved living, he loved encouraging others, he was the father that my father never was.

While I was going through my divorce, Jack was always checking in on me to make sure I was OK. He would send me articles in the mail he thought would be helpful. One of them was about Flickr. He knew my love of photography and encouraged me to join, telling me it would be a good way to learn and improve my photography in a  community, and was free!  I put that article away for a few months, then found it and opened a Flickr account.  That one little thing Jack did, completely changed my life. We never know when these little things we do for people might be something extraordinary in their life. I told him it was because of him that my life changed - from that one little thing, from joining Flickr and making new friends and learning so many new things, it put me and my art and photography where I am right now. I'm forever grateful to him for caring enough to take the time to do that, and to encourage and to believe. How wonderful are people who care enough to do these little things that are such big things. He was a big believer in paying it forward and helping others. 

These wonderful encouragers of dreams, the mentors who say yes you can, I believe in you... they are such bright lights in this world. And now one of them is gone. RIP Jack Kasper, you were loved. You were one in a million. 

Encourage dreams. Take time to listen. Be a light. Look someone in the eye and tell them you believe in them. Each time I do these things I'll think of Jack.

FATHER FIGURE

I'm seeing all the annual dad posts & it's hard because my father was mostly absent. I guess this is why I had to develop resilience & self sufficiency, although at times I wish I wasn't so much that way. I know my dad did the best he could under his difficult growing up circumstances. He fought many demons. When he was about 6, his mother took him & his twin brother to a boys school in Philadelphia. My grandma was raising them alone after their dad died prior to their birth. The school offered a scholarship for their education. But they didn't tell the boys what was going on, & my dad remembered being in a fenced yard & then seeing his mother & grandmother walking away outside just leaving them there. It was not a happy place for him. He did the best he could as a father who didn't know how or wasn't able to father.  But I did have a wonderful male mentor growing up who showed such love & patience to me & to his own daughter who had Down's Syndrome. Homer nurtured my art, took me for my first plane ride in his little plane & was at my wedding. Happy Father's Day to all the amazing men who fill these roles & shoes... they are truly extraordinary.

MOM

My mom passed away 23 years ago. She had just turned 58. When I laugh, I hear her. My laugh has become her laugh. I've become my mother in wonderful ways... I laugh a lot, I remain naive in a beautiful way where I still believe in miracles & good things & beautiful souls. She was like that. She was unwavering in her loyalty to friends & enjoyed the simple things in life - a good laugh & a good book, time spent with family & friends, working in the garden, singing at the top of her lungs, a good sale! We can allwax poetic about Moms on Mother's Day & do the pedestal thing. My mom was human & ordinary, but that made her extraordinary. She loved with the best ability of her heart & parented as a single mom, the best she knew how & even when she might falter, it was always made better with a hug & an "I love you." She taught me to be human & she tried to understand me even though we were different in many ways. But when I laugh, I hear her still... somehow over the years, my laugh has become her laugh - & it's music to my ears.

Happy Mother's Day in Heaven Mom. 

WATERCOLOR

For my whole ride on this planet, I've been experiencing it all through my eyes. It's how I'm wired. A camera has been in my hand since I was 9, and it gave life to my vision, to my perception of the world with colors, and lines and light. Later, my emotions and spirituality seeped into my photographic work to give it life and spirit. It has always been second nature.... it just comes out of me intuitively.

This month, I'm at an art retreat where I'm giving myself the gift of time to learn new art forms. The first two days have been a little frustrating and eye opening! I wanted to learn & create beautiful things quickly - the way I can create art with my eyes & camera. I guess we all want to get to the jackpot fast... to buy the winning lottery ticket...  find true love on the first date... I'm guilty! I had visions of creating some kind of amazing piece in the first day, intuitively and naturally! But I'm realizing that most of life is starting at the beginning with basics and building a foundation. So I'm taking it slow, and letting myself settle in to enjoy playing, and learning & creating. The Joy is in the process! It's good to learn new things and keep ourselves fresh - and humble!

--

THIS MOMENT

 This moment.  It is all we really have. Whether it's happy or sad it is all we have.  We create our life second by second and day by day. This moment builds upon other moments and each moment & each day is sacred. It is life. It is living. It is worthy of being the best it can be.  And in that way life becomes the best it can be.

 Last January, I began a yoga practice. I came to realize it was about more than physical flexibility. It was about focus, about confidence and strength of body and inner soul.  During my current travel adventure, which began this past September, yoga became difficult due to space constraints in many places I was staying and with the long drives. This January I began meditating. I discovered meditation brings me an inner calm and clarity. It grounds me to life & to my self. It brings me a feeling I have always found in nature, a connection to a higher power and the infinite. 

 Through meditation, I am living so fully in each moment of this riotous glorious beautiful life. 

Recently I discovered Insight app. It offers both a timer method and wonderful guided meditation and music.  It was through this app that I discovered Sarah Blondin and her Live Awake podcasts. They are inspirational, full of beautiful insight, powerful & moving. 

I often joked that I wish I had an "off button" when my brain kept going. All I had to do was sit with my breath. 

** This fine art print and home decor are available in my Society6 shop. Click the SHOP tab the top 

NO APOLOGIES

I don't know about you, but I seem to find myself apologizing for emotions or tears. Lately, I've been apologizing when I shed tears of grief that my Maggie May is gone. It's been a year after all. Why am I still crying and why does my heart still break? But, she was my 1 in a million (I think dog owners always have that extra special one) .... my travel buddy and hiking buddy and confidant and copilot in life - she was my angel with fur... and my model/muse. It is hard having this road adventure without her - my best fur friend. It was such a blessing to be able to open my heart & life up so grandly and largely to this furry soul. To be able to love so deeply is a gift and a blessing. The downside is that the heart break is also so deep.

Somehow I thought one day the missing her would ease, or the tears would stop and the apologies would come when this wasn't the case. What I now realize is that I won't ever stop missing her. And that is OK. When we lose someone (or a furry someone) it's okay to keep missing them, and to keep feeling that empty spot and to be authentic about it all. And it's okay to let someone else in (or another pet) and a new space will be filled, but that other empty spot will always be there. And just letting myself know I will always miss her and will probably always shed tears of joy but also sadness that she is gone, somehow makes me feel better. And I'm going to stop apologizing for all that. And that feels very good, too.

MEDITATION

Last January 1, I began doing yoga and it was life changing, when I thought it would just make me more flexible! At the end of my morning yoga, I would usually meditate and pray. With my recent travels, yoga is sometimes not easy due to cramped space or other reasons. But I still try to make the time to pray & meditate. This morning I woke with lots of thoughts swirling in my mind. Things aren't always easy on a travel adventure! I sat down to meditate & my mind couldn't go still....  So I began a series of letting a thought come, but not following it down the road and start to spin with it. I realized that you can have the thoughts & not fight them, to not attach to them, just let them go. That alone cleared my mind. It seems that when we "fight" against things, they grab hold. But if we let it just be, then we flow. I'm having a bit of a struggle right now as my computer has died. I want to edit my photography, and get my art where it needs to be online. But I finally realized during meditation that perhaps I'm supposed to be doing something else right now and that my art shops are actually taking care of themselves.

Often I'll get asked how this travel adventure has changed me. It's still ongoing, but I guess the easy answer is that you look at life, yourself, everything differently - with new eyes. When you do something that scares you, or that you think you cannot do - well, it stretches you,  shows a strength you didn't know you had - especially when doing a solo travel adventure. 

When I'm out hiking and photographing, I always turn around - many times - because where I just was looks so different when I turn around and look back. That is what it is like on this adventure...